It’s no secret – sometimes we all struggle. The problem is not that, it’s the fear that someone will judge us for it and the sting of unkind words when we are already down. No matter what we do someone is always going to have something not so nice to say. The people that usually say these things are people who don’t have kids or don’t have special needs kids. Their view of what goes on is so skewed that it is unfathomable.
I remember one person on my FB page had this obscene notion that our kids are given electric shock therapy and all these outlandish ideas. I am not sure where they get their info (probably Wikipedia) but that is not what goes on. My kiddo is in school, learning to read, print, her numbers, she has been the class helper for a week and she helped clean up after snack and put the cups away and so on…she has learned at least 100 new words and can make full coherent sentences. She is blossoming into such an amazing little girl so full of energy and humor…I have never been so proud of her.
I know that not all kiddos on the Spectrum can talk but that still doesn’t mean we give them electric shock therapy. It’s these misconstrued notions that make it so hard to break through the stigma, it makes it hard to keep these people with their half baked ideas and harsh words from spewing their ill conceived words and thoughts towards us.
So what do we do…well we fight back harder, we try to educate more, advocate harder, work towards helping people understand better. It’s a spectrum, it’s reaches are far and wide…but no matter where your kiddo(s) fall on the spectrum we all still struggle. Some have health conditions on top of Autism. Some have serious sensory issues, some do not, some talk, some do not, some are high functioning, some are the middle of the roaders and some are lower functioning…but regardless all deserve to be treated fairly.
No one deserves the harsh words of those that are not wiling to understand or those who just want to be negative just because. We battle this on the playgrounds, our own families, people we thought were friends and we battle educators. It often can feel like at every turn there is another battle waiting for a parent that has a child with special needs. It can be really upsetting, it can make you angry, it can wear you down and wear you out.
I don’t get why people have to be so harsh to other parents, what is worse is another parent that has a kid with special needs as well – those ones sting the most. Some just want attention, some want you to engage in a drama fest and others just have their own issues and would rather hide behind those than actually do something about it and be more respectful to others.
We as parents, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents get worn down enough from dealing with the stresses of having kiddo(s) or being apart of the journey that is Autism and other related things. Why is it that we have so many uphill battles to get people to try and understand, to educate them in a good positive way about our journey’s? No good comes from what these people do to us and others in our situations. I find it rude and disrespectful…I do not like those people and I will never ever try to change their minds because there is nothing that can.
I have had one person threaten to call the cops because I was “unstable” oh and CPS to – they even said that they would be here within the day…yeah uh sure I am “unstable” because I work hard for my kids, because I advocate, because I am home with them working with them, their therapists, their IPP (IEP) team, with teachers and support staff, because I take them to all their medical appointments, because I have to make tough calls on what is the best course of action for my kids (be it taking Cam off his pump or not backing down when it comes to what medications they need etc), or making sure they are fed, clothed and have everything they could ever need. My house is clean, they never go out with dirty clothes or faces,hands etc, I sacrifice sleep, time and energy making sure they have all they need and more and I would NEVER change it for the world. I know you can understand – our kiddo(s) are our worlds, and if someone doesn’t have kids, and knows nothing of how freaking great our spectrum kiddo(s) are then their opinion and words should not matter. It is easier said than done but with all the other battles we face we have to find a way to push these people and their negativity out of our lives. We are warriors in our own right and we must not give up the fight to educate those that want to be, and to help those that want to understand our situations better. Never let the negative people rent space in your head or heart…we have bigger battles ahead and these ones will only wear you down when it isn’t necessary. Remember NEGU.