The human connection – why is it so hard for people to be genuine

In life there are many things I will never understand, one of them is people, more specifically their behaviors.  How can people treat each other with such disregard all the time, like last weeks trash?  What does it accomplish for either party?

When you put yourself out there and have someone’s back and then they cut you down, lie, and make you some scape goat for their own issues and short comings you sort of feel a twinge of hurt and shock.  You know there is so much more to the story but they are not allowing yours to be told…so what do you do, do you just walk away, do you sit and mull it over and try to move on, or do you try to get your side heard?

What would you do if you were sitting on information that you felt was important to both sides and could clear things up but you cannot call people out because it isn’t in your nature and one person that could clear things up for you clearly isn’t going to budge.

Being stuck between that rock and a hard place is not a place I like to be at all, nor do I enjoy being the scape goat and expendable by someone just because they are moody and upset at other things.  I surely don’t like it when my personal status’ on my personal and public pages are used in a malicious way to make me the fall guy for something that doesn’t even pertain to me or to that other person.  Trust is earned, respect is gained and when you break either of those once you are going to be damn lucky if I talk to you again, do it twice well that one is on me.

No one has the right to play a victim of someone else’s words IF they were NEVER about them, that right there is being a victim of your own misery and unhappiness and looking for someone else to pawn the guilt and unhappiness of your own circumstances off on.  Does that really make a good person, probably not.  True colors always shine through in a time of difficulty and this person’s colors are not very nice.

Do not pawn your emotional baggage off on anyone around you, YOU alone need to come to terms with your OWN feelings and baggage.  Do bit go around looking for good people that are trusting and pawn it off on them at the first chance you get.  Word gets around and sooner or later people will see what you are doing and you wont have anyone left in your corner when you need them.

While most people learn this from an early age it does appear far to many adults still are playing these mind games and a victim.  There are no victims in this situation, yes I know shocking BUT let me explain.  The one person created their own storm and didn’t like the outcome, made assumptions about something they had NO first hand knowledge about, and has a thing for playing the whoa is me card a lot.  The other person let this person hurt them twice, the first time they should have walked away and been done with it – but others convinced them to give it another shot.  So the second time around – that one is on them.

But what it comes down to is why…why do people play these games and why are so many buying into it with no solid proof of anything?  Why do people not say “hey it would be great if you could back your story up and give us some proof of wrong doing before we all grab our torches and pitchforks and go on a hunt”  It’s the blind leading the blind I say, but again why?  Why do we not have enough nerve to stand up and say hey – I will not buy into this unless you got good soiled evidence that this is necessary or that it is about you, or that you need this?  In the age of technology people can be so deceiving, and manipulative.  What is even sadder is people on FB will launch a full scale attack on someone without even putting any thought into it or hearing anyone else’s side of the story.  What is wrong with people?

People will rate you, shake you and try to break you over what?  One person’s word maybe two – no proof, no speaking to the other person(s) – just full steam ahead.  I guess some people are just good at being manipulative and others are good at being manipulated.  But what does that do to the person(s) you are on a hunt for…causes them undo stress, it can lead to emotional break downs, it can lead to so many things including someone taking their own life.  Before you assume anything, ask questions, talk to both parties and make your own informed decision.  Do not be a sheep…do not just follow the lead of one person because you “feel bad” for them, what if this person is wrong and lying…how would you feel then?  Duped, hurt that someone could lie to you that you trusted for their own personal gain, angry, maybe even a bit guilty for not getting all the facts first?  I bet that would weigh on your mind for some time.  What if your actions and this other person’s caused someone to take their life and even IF they did something wrong but not in the way that this other person says – no one should suffer so much hate and anger that they feel the only way out is suicide.  Words hurt to, they have consequences just like actions do.  Words hurt for life, scars that no one can see, pain that no one see’s…chose wisely what you say and do because once said/done they cannot be undone.

The human connection is hard to understand, how people can treat each other with such disregard and like they don’t matter.  How people who genuinely try to be nice to everyone and has never done anyone wrong can end up between that rock and hard place over and over.  As an Aspie it’s sort of our thing – we tend to be in these situations a lot more than regular people I find.  We have a hard time figuring out what people want from us so we are more susceptible to being in a situation where we get taken advantage of. For myself I am now way more cautious of things and whom I say much to.  I am tired of being the one that gets blamed and walked all over and used as a door mat and a scape goat.  News flash folks I AM A PERSON TO.

Today I have put my foot down and I am tired of dealing with it all.  If people want to be my friend there is a process now – because I am tired of fake people in my life.  You have to earn things in life and my friendship is going to be hard to fully earn…and it is going to take awhile.

Treat others how you expect to be treated, do wrong to no one that has done no wrong to you, and do not make up things or assume things because it will come out, the truth.  Once it does then what?  Do unto others as you would have done unto you…

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