In life there are struggles, no one is going to deny that, some are not so difficult and some – some challenge you to the brink and back. Most people can muddle through without any big issues and others well when we struggle – we hit a wall and we hit it hard. It can feel like the world is crumbling down on us and we are trying to hold it all together.
Some people can take a step back and regroup ok, some of us require more time and others well we retreat into ourselves, hide from the world even if it means that some of those around us get upset or hurt at our actions. It’s a defense mechanism – when things get to overwhelming and crazy we tend to hide from it until we are better able to process the feelings and situation. We are kind of knee jerk reaction people more often than not, we go all in without a second thought. I guess you could say when we commit to something we really commit – the good, bad and ugly – we are in it up to our eyes. Problem being is that once we realize just how far into something we have gotten we look like deer in the headlights. We quickly withdraw into our own little cocoon’s so to speak where we feel comfortable and secure and slowly we begin to try and make sense of things.
Sometimes it means regressions, sometimes aggressions, sometimes we stop talking much and seem distant and moody. We struggle to hold onto things while trying to make sense of the rest of it. Think of a Kangaroo and her Joey in her pouch – when the world is crazy and the little guy is scared he hides out in Mom’s pouch while he calms down and tries to make sense of the big noisy busy world. He feels safe, secure and like nothing can hurt him. It may mean he doesn’t learn things as quickly as the others or that he forgets some things his Mom has taught him already but none of that matters right then – what matters is he feels safe and the world isn’t so crazy in there.
Kids and adults a like on the spectrum tend to retreat or withdraw into their safe place when things become to much. It could be a bunch of little things like being stuck inside due to weather more than you are used to, or dropping something and then spilling something else later and then a bunch of other things that have built up over a bit of time come spilling out in one big messy emotional waterfall and we just shut down.
We will often push people we care about a lot away one minute and the next we are upset that we did and want them back near us for support. We tend to be yo-yo’s with our emotions like we are all teenage girls feeling devastated by our first heartbreak. We feel angry, hurt, sad and frustrated – it’s just a big messy pile of jumbled emotions all running through our mind and hearts at once. Truth be told we don’t really know what we want exactly and as someone on the outside looking in I am sure it feels like it’s just a lot of drama over nothing.
While we can be dramatic – it’s not always a struggle to cause drama we often are just overwhelmed by life, the social interactions, the always trying to keep up “appearances”, always trying to navigate a world where not much is what it seems, where people don’t always say what the mean or mean what they say. Try processing all that on a minute by minute basis and wondering if you over thought it or under thought it. Wishing the world would just bloody well make sense for once so you could just catch a break.
Sometimes we just need to retreat and find our calm happy place so we can proceed forward again when we are better able to cope. Just try to understand and be there when we need someone…we will come around just give us a bit of time to work through whatever it is that is bothering us.