Most annoying thing I read all the time – how all kids with “special needs” deserve preferential treatment in everything. It’s the one thing that grinds the gears of others…we put our kids in these bubbles so often and we feel we need to keep them there. “Oh they have Autism so we need this, this and this before we can do this.” Where as we go to places like the Calgary Stampede with thousands of people and we don’t expect any kind of special treatment – it is a valuable lesson that the world is big and loud but knowing our limits and learning to cope are things we all need to do and learn.
I know I do things differently than most – but I want my kids to be able to navigate the real world when I am done raising them and they are on their own. I don’t want them to be scared or timid – I want them to go out there and get what they want and achieve it. Strong confident leaders of tomorrow…that is what we need.
I have been told to wait in line with my kids because a boy with Autism was playing in a ball pit and his Mom didn’t want other kids in there because “he had Autism” – come on man really – way to raise a kid that is going to think the world owes them and everyone should step aside so they can have it. She requested no one sit by him or anything…his biggest issue – he had no idea how to behave around other kids – so he was only acting out because he didn’t have the skill set to know how else to be. His Dad was awesome with him – helped him a lot – before long he was able to somewhat interact with the other kids. His Dad said his Mom thinks that the world has to learn to look out for her son and work around him – but he tries to teach his Son that he needs to work in the world and how to cope better with life. It’s sad when parents do that to their kids – NT or otherwise…if you raise them to be confident in themselves and their abilities you will be amazed at what can happen.
Sometimes we fail to see how much of a bubble we put our kids in, and is it really for their sake or ours? Are we being over protective and making the world seem horrible and scary so they will never be able to function in it – they will be to scared? Perhaps we are so used to seeing/hearing the negative that we forget about all the good in the world…that our kids could help shape the world for a better tomorrow if we only let them.
At some point we have to let them go – we have to let them explore the world and find their spot in it and they have to be ready…the world isn’t going to change for them – they are going to have to learn to adapt like every other person on this planet to what specifically they need from the world. Road blocks will happen, tough times will ensue, but if you have helped them prepare for these things – they will come out on the other side of the hard times all the better for it.
All kids can learn…we just have to be willing to teach them the important things in life – coping skills is a big one. Don’t be afraid to let go of them bit by bit (they may not entirely be able to ever be 100% independent but some is better than none)…some of the smartest people on this planet didn’t even get extra support or help in life – and they are doing amazing in their own ways. We can’t keep expecting the world to just comply and change for us…we have to change the world. Every one of us out here on this planet is different – the world cannot bend that many ways it just isn’t a fair expectation. Our kids can handle a lot more than we give them credit for…if we just let them try and support them – great things can be done. It’s pretty naive to think the world has to change for our kids – our kids should be the ones shaping the world – and the generation to come behind them…showing them that things like Autism are not an excuse to not try – it’s something to be embraced and within the world you shall find your spot and you shall help change the world bit by bit.